Sunday, March 25, 2012

Dreaming of Real Life


My sleep was interrupted by an epic dream last night. The kind that just keeps going no matter how many times you rouse and turn over and acknowledge that it is a dream. The kind that, while it isn't disturbing, it doesn't exactly please you to be having and you wish it would just stop.

I found myself annoyed that it just kept starting again, like some gremlin had stolen the remote control and was forever changing the channel back to that one I was trying to avoid.

Before opening my eyes to the sun this morning, I lie in bed pondering the dream itself. It isn't often that I can even remember my dreams, especially once I set out to pursue them, but this one was persistent. So persistent that I figured it was meaningful to try and figure it out. I used the Carrie Wilson Link method. She once taught me that our dreams are always about ourselves and are the path our subconscious uses to teach us. When we assume that each and every player and symbol in the dream represents some part of ourselves, we can begin to decipher the meaning of the dream.

I decided to dive in. This dream featured a book about cancer and some revolutionary treatment. I was to read and review the book, but for some reason I was actively resisting doing so. As I made my way through the dream, I began to realize that the reason I was avoiding the book was because I was afraid that by reading the book I would somehow not only realize that the cure was viable and revolutionary, but that I would then find myself in a position to need it. I was afraid that reading the book would give me cancer, or lead me to realize that I already had it, and that I would then need to embark on this treatment regimen. And if I didn't, even though I had now learned about the cure, I would be discovered. Everyone would know that I knew about my own illness and refused to treat it in a way that would surely cure me.

I slept the entire night without ever lifting the book or peeking inside, so I don't know any of the details of the "cure." Turns out it doesn't really matter.

As soon as I began applying Carrie's wisdom to analyzing my dream, I was dismayed. There is something in my life that I know no longer serves me. A habit I have that I have resisted changing for so many reasons (none of them particularly important), and steadfastly ignored. It isn't one that is terribly harmful, but it's true that it doesn't really serve a purpose in the life I am trying to create for myself. A life where I treat my body well, with mindful eating and drinking, getting enough sleep and exercise, meditation and compassion. This is a holdover from the time in my life when I assumed by body would be served by good genes and youth and would withstand whatever I put it through as long as, every once in a while, I took a break to exercise and eat well and "catch up."

I know the problem.
I know the "cure."
I am not addressing either.

Perhaps it's time.

8 comments:

Peggy Strack said...

Love this post. It holds so much truth. I always question why it is so hard to treat ourselves with dignity and respect through healthy living? If anyone has the answer, I'd love to know it.

Alicia (Dr. Mom) said...

Im feelin' you on this one!

Deb Shucka said...

It sounds like that dream just might be back if you wait too long to change. Powerful post!

Pat Garcia Schaack said...

I enjoyed reading this post. It is so difficult to break bad habits and start doing those things that we know we need and want to do to maintain a healthy life.

Thanks.
Ciao,
Patricia

Dee Ready said...

Dear Kari, . . . as "Deb Shucka" said, "a powerful post." You've had the dream and analyzed it and now are in the position of choosing what to change and what to let into your life. All change is, of course, a risk because we leave behind the known, the comfortable.

But often what's comfortable isn't best for us. Right now I'm struggling with a decision to stay or not to stay in Missouri. I'm hoping that by staying open to possibilities I will see the path: to embrace what will bring me growth in the human spirit.

Peace to you on your journey.

Carrie Link said...

Well you know I do love a mention, but that is not my wisdom, merely wisdom I learned and passed on. You did the hard work of applying it. Doesn't that SUCK? : )

chris said...

I have always found dreams to be fascinating, though the restless ones that offer little feelings of rest can be pretty terrible. I'm happy that you found a lesson in a night of fitful sleep. I've never found much to interpret from my scary and insane dreamworld, but I do generally enjoy them. Thanks for the post.

brenda said...

Wow - strong write. I am always curious about the meaning of my dreams. I don't analyze them as you do - at least I am not aware of it. I will pick apart pieces of it and try to look at it to see if there is a hidden meaning. Like you have found, there often is. I am in awe of the process you followed an how you arrived at the conclusion. I wonder though, what actions will follow. Thought provoking.

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