Sunday, December 23, 2007

Untitled


I've said it before, and I'll say it again. I am a Libra. I am all about balance. Love it. I don't mind it when the see-saw tilts, just as long as I know it's going to keep moving and switch back to the other side soon.

As I slowly and quietly process the sad news that has come my way over the past week or so, I've noticed that the teeter has tottered a bit. My capacity for enthusiasm is greatly diminished. My wit is not as sharp or as swift as it normally is. The top third of my brain is submerged in that grey mist that hangs above the lake on autumn mornings. I am subdued.

While my world is tilted on its ear a bit, I've noticed that my capacity for tenderness has grown. My sensitivity to acts of love and kindness is on hyperdrive. I am so much more aware of the interactions of those around me. Watching my kids play with their cousin and make homemade gifts for each other warms me from the tip of my toes on up. Listening to Bubba and his brother sit and chat about everything and nothing reminds me how much these two siblings love each other. Sitting with the dog, his soft chin resting on my thigh, I stroke his silky ears and feel the emptiness inside begin to fill.

The honeyed sweetness of comfortable, connected affection mingles with the charcoal grey of sadness, swirling together in a yin/yang pattern, thick and deep. My easy smiles and belly laughter will return. For now, the brew inside is filling. It encourages me to sit with it, heavy and grounded.

7 comments:

Maddy said...

I think many of us have mixed emotions as this time of year, when we're together as a family with time to reflect.
Best wishes

This is my calling card or link"Whittereronautism"which takes you straight to my new blog.

Eileen said...

Gorgeous writing Kari! Your ability to express what your feeling, in the face of all the sadness that has come your way,is truly amazing. You totally get it exactly right....I think being more aware or appreciating the connections of love that surround you make perfect sense, given the losses you face. It is bittersweet.
Sending you love.
XOXO

Carrie Wilson Link said...

"The honeyed sweetness of comfortable, connected affection mingles with the charcoal grey of sadness, swirling together in a yin/yang pattern, thick and deep. My easy smiles and belly laughter will return. For now, the brew inside is filling. It encourages me to sit with it, heavy and grounded."

Lovely.

True.

So you, lovely and true!

Merry, merry and lots of love.

MY OWN WOMAN... said...

Beautiful, simply beautiful. You have captured so many emotions.

Suzy said...

Your words are magic as always.

Your compassion and warmth in words and ways touch each and every person who comes into contact with you.

I know I am the better person for it.
Love you
Suzy

Michelle O'Neil said...

beautiful post. so good when life experience teaches us that this too shall pass. when we're younger we don't know that.

Jess said...

Great post, and great how you see this things. Its so good to be able to watch ourselves this way, and know things will pass.

And, I love the picture. I am kind of a honey freak, love good honey in my tea. Every time I come back to check here it makes me happy to see that. Mmmm....

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