Even as I struggle to fit in all of the things I know I 'need' to do this week, I can't help but feel an enormous sense of peace.
Mail birthday gifts/cards to no less than four people whose birthdays fall between the 29th of October and the 5th of November.
Make an appointment to have someone come fix the dishwasher
Make dentist appointments for every member of the family
Get the cats their shots
Order flowers for friend whose surgery is Thursday
Write thank-you notes for birthday gifts I received
Make sure girls are dressed appropriately for school pictures on Weds.
The list goes on and on. Bubba is away on business for another eight days and I'm flying solo yet again. The laundry is far behind, the house is a disaster, I haven't written anything on my book in days.
I am so blessed. Over the past three days, I've been lucky enough to have some quiet 1:1 time with each member of my family. My youngest is beginning to come out of the funk that led her to flip out and start screaming and/or crying at the slightest disappointment and she is slowly overcoming her Ovaltine addiction. She is more compassionate, sympathetic, and quick to grin over the last week or so. She is working hard in school and feels very proud of herself. My oldest daughter has discovered new 'old' friends in her classroom and is expanding her circle of playmates and thoroughly enjoying herself. She is practicing her gymnastics skills every day because she loves it so much and can't wait to demonstrate her increased strength to everyone she knows. My husband and I unexpectedly reconnected with some friends we hadn't seen in over ten years at dinner on Monday night and had fun reminiscing and talking about how far we'd come.
As relationships wax and wane, and our connections to those around us stretch thin and strengthen over the years, I have often found myself worrying that the thinning is a dangerous trend. Today I realize that the thinning is perfectly normal and so long as my committment to the people themselves remains intact it is likely that hanging in there for a little while will pay off. The days that find me feeling close and connected to the others who share my household are such a blessing. Despite the continued whirling of the universe around me and the neverending bullet points that populate my to-do list, tonight I am able to sit back and relax in the knowledge that my children both love and feel loved by me. Despite the fact that I sit here alone while Bubba sits on an airplane bound for the other side of the world, I am secure in the knowledge that our goals and feelings are in synch with each other's and our love is deep and warm. The stuff will get done. Or it won't. But tonight, life is good. I'm grounded right here and thankful for what I have right now. I'll pack lunches tomorrow morning.