Tuesday, February 27, 2007

The Princess and the Bump


Once upon a time a little princess had an accident. You know, one of those ones that occur sometimes to little princesses in the middle of the night after a bedtime story and a big glass of water. She yelled her royal yell to summon the Queen and, when the Queen came running, the princess demanded that she change her sheets.


The Queen noted, with some dismay, that the princess' royal chamber was without an absorbent pad beneath the sheet. Damn! Well, no matter. While the princess chose some new jammies the Queen fetched some towels to soak up the puddle. She placed a fresh towel on top of the mattress and fitted the bed with the favored flannel bedclothes adorned with snowmen, of course. All the time, she marveled at the way one glass of water can turn into three gallons of pee, but that is another story for another time.


As the princess clambered back into her bed, she noticed that her snowmen were not lying flat. Indeed, there was a bump underneath them. That would never do.


"I don't want to sleep on a bump!" she screeched. The Queen winced, hoping the other members of the castle wouldn't be awakened by the indignant yell of the littlest princess. She explained that the "bump" was necessary in order to keep the dampness away from the princess' skin as she slept. The princess demanded another solution immediately, as she could never be expected to sleep on a bump.


The Queen, too tired to argue, informed the princess that she could either sleep on the bump or sleep on the floor, but she herself was going to retire until morning. In response, the princess got on all fours directly above the offending bump and began flailing her legs up into the air attempting to donkey kick the bump into submission. She sat on it, squirming her little hips around and trying to grind the bump down so that it would be flat. All the while, she grunted and yelled at nobody in particular and the Queen leaned one shoulder against the doorjamb, trying desperately not to wet herself with laughter.


As the princess finally tired herself out and settled into sleep the Queen realized she could now be certain that her daughter was a true princess. Honestly, what true royalty could be expected to sleep on a bump?

7 comments:

Jerri said...

I loves me a fairy tale. Especially a funny one.

Anonymous said...

probably my gene pool :(

signed.
you know who

ps - I'll get her tonight...

Catbird Scout said...

It's Princess and The Pee! I love your daughter and haven't even met her. You've made me laugh. Thanks. Deb

grammer said...

very funny! i can see those donkey kicks :) xo

Carrie Wilson Link said...

Thanks for a giggle!

love.

Kim Meisner said...

That was SO adorable and fun to read! Every detail was perfect. I feel like this should be published somewhere--parenting mag?

Miss Devylish said...

She has learned something from me..

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