I had a perfect moment of peace this morning. While rare, I am learning to listen for them more and more these days and then let go and allow them to fill me up. I was driving home from dropping my daughter off at school, looking out at the gorgeous day shaping up. Blue skies and enormous fluffy clouds in the background framed by cherry blossoms on both sides of the road.
On impulse, I reached over and picked up a heart-shaped stone I keep in my car and felt its smooth coolness. I fit my middle finger into the cleft at the top and let the point gently prod my lifeline just inside the palm of my hand. It fits there perfectly and feels so natural in that position. Just then one of my favorite songs came pouring out of the speakers. "I don't know where it all begins. And I don't know where it all will end. But we're better off for all that we let in..." sang Emily Saliers (one half of the Indigo Girls).
A clarity, an open space grew inside me like ripples in a pond, ever widening and I felt at peace. I don't have control over the beginning or the end, but I can increase the size of my portal to let more in and truly feel that I will be better off for holding all of it. I'll take the pain and the joy, the heartbreak and the happiness. At this moment, I know I AM ENOUGH. I don't have to understand it all or "fix" any of it, I'm just going to let it shine in and sit there. This is peace.